


feeling as good as lovers can

by smallredboy



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Crack-ish, Established Relationship, Halloween Costumes, Humor, M/M, Office Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Chase convinces House to go with a couples' costume to the Halloween party at PPTH.
Relationships: Robert Chase/Greg House
Comments: 10
Kudos: 69
Collections: Allbingo





	feeling as good as lovers can

**Author's Note:**

> this is so self-indulgent and so stupid. i hope yall enjoy it
> 
> for allbingo's people-watching fest with the square "matching outfits"
> 
> enjoy!

"You've had innumerable stupid ideas during differential diagnoses," House starts, as he looks over at the costume Chase bought, "but this is, by far, the stupidest idea you've had."

Chase laughs, a bright laugh that resonates across the room. He secures the red cape cascading down his shoulders. "Actually, it's the best. We're telling everyone we're dating  _ and _ wearing a stupid matching Halloween costume. All in one!"

He rolls his eyes and picks at the costume once again, before starting to put it on. Chase beams in front of him. "I'm just doing this to freak Cuddy out. She's gonna get HR involved. It'll be atrocious."

He shrugs. "Won't she just make us sign a contract of it not affecting our work life?"

"Eh. If anything she'll take you to the side and tell you about how evil I am. You know, gotta ruin the relationship early on. And everything."

"We've been dating for nearly half a year," he comments. "That's not early on for a relationship with Greg House, I'd believe."

"It's not early on for fifteen-year-olds."

Chase grins at him smugly, like he's just fallen into a trap. "Exactly my point."

House groans and pulls him into a quick kiss.

* * *

Office parties are stupid. Office parties with Halloween costumes are even stupider. But oh well, Cuddy had mandated for most of the staff to come, and he's not one to turn down opportunities to cause chaos. Especially when his boyfriend of nearly six months comes in with stupid, matching couples costumes and a cute pout on his lips. Truly, he couldn't say no to Chase when he was asking for such a simple whim that tickled his fancy for watching disaster unfold. Disaster for Cuddy and HR was even more interesting; when it was over such trivial matters like  _ hey, House is abusing his authority over his lapdog Chase maybe? _ it was even better.

He sighs as he grabs a drink, the hoodie with wolf-like ears still on his head. 

"What're you dressed as?" Cuddy asks as she clicks her heels closer to him, furrowing her brows, a glass in her hand. She hasn't noticed Chase yet, it seems; he turns to see him in his periphery, dejectedly flirting with some nurse dressed as that one woman from Kill Bill. He knows it's nothing serious, plus, they're nowhere close to being exclusive. The mere thought makes something funny stir in his stomach— he can't quite tell what it is.

"Well, you see…" He holds up his cane. "I'm the Big Bad Wolf, but if he was a cripple. Some great use of imagination, these costume creators."

Cuddy snorts. "One would expect a Red Riding Hood somewhere around here, then. But no one would do a couples costume with you."

"I'm sure Wilson would," he replies as he steps back, careful not to jostle his own leg. He turns. "Chase," he calls out, not too loud. 

He's lost track of Chase, but Chase hasn't lost track of him— soon enough, he whips his head back and their eyes meet. His eyes gleam and a grin makes its way onto his factions before he snakes his way throughout the slight crowd, the red hood over his floppy blond hair.

"Hi, Dr. Cuddy," he says a little breathlessly, tilting his head. "I'm dressed as blond Red Riding Hood. I think it's great for such a cheap costume."

Cuddy stares at them like they've both grown a second head. After a few seconds, she draws in a breath. Her knuckles are going white around her champagne glass— it's a wonder she hasn't broke it yet.

"I agree, Dr. Chase," she says, her voice a tad icy. She glances at House with a murderous glare. Oh, this is  _ definitely _ getting to HR. "Any specific reason you're matching your costume— an outfit based on a children's…  _ thing _ , may I add— with Dr. House?"

Chase grins from ear to ear. He looks like the Cheshire cat. Downright manic. "Oh, it's a couples' costume," he informs her giddily. "We're dating."

Cuddy downright  _ hisses _ . "I'm." It's like the words are being forced out of her mouth. "I'm happy for you both, but, you must inform HR of this development. Okay?"

House tilts his head. "Will you try and frame it as me abusing my authority over Chase?"

She huffs. "Not a chance. I know he's desperate for your approval, but he wouldn't be keen enough to allow you to quote-unquote  _ date _ him unless he really wanted it."

Chase makes an undignified noise. "I'm here, you know."

Cuddy brings her champagne glass to her lips and takes a sip. "Yes, I know." She pauses. "See you at HR tomorrow. House, Chase."

"See you," they chorus, both with the same lack of enthusiasm as she turns and leaves the scene of the crime. 

Chase grins. "That was incredible. Wanna break the news to the rest of the team?"

He gives him a half-interested shrug. "Eh, maybe. They won't be as fussy about it."

"Congrats on going public!" Someone announces from behind them.

House whips his head around and he represses the urge to groan. His eyes twitch, but he doesn't roll them. Of  _ course _ Cameron already knew. Of course she had analyzed every last bit of their interactions — as much as they both tried to keep them as impersonal and emotionless as possible during work hours — and concluded that yes, her boss and her colleague were dating, and had decided to wait for them to tell on themselves, like the ally she is. 

Chase follows the voice and smiles tightly, though he's a little shocked. "You knew already?"

She shrugs and walks closer to them. She's wearing a get-up that reminds him of Doctor Who vaguely. It's not a show he watches very often (God, he can't stand British accents; he's not sure how he copes with Chase's), but the outfit is very like the one the Doctor is wearing in the current season. Perhaps she's here as the female Doctor everyone keeps talking about but will never actually happen.

"I could tell," she replies, sipping on a glass of white wine. "It's just… obvious that you two were gonna bang eventually. With your issues, it was only a matter of time."

"Which issues?" Chase says indignantly, as if he does not have a complete gallery of issues.

"The daddy issues." When House opens his mouth, she adds, "both of you have 'em. And the desperate seeking for approval from Chase. Just, don't screw it up, okay? You two are cute."

House swallows and decides to ignore all she said about their issues. She's right, but she doesn't have to know that. "Does Foreman know?"

Cameron grins, eyes gleaming as she fixes her coat. "Oh, that's the thing. He told me."

"He told you?" Chase echoes.

"Yeah." A pause. "You know, you need to check if the supply closet door really is locked."

Chase's entire face goes red, lighting up in one instant. House remains impassive, as much as he wants to make a threesome or a foursome joke.

"Thank you for the advice," he says curtly.

"No problem."

Chase immediately leans in. He whispers, "You told me you locked the door!"

He fakes a look of innocence. He doubts it works. 

"Oops."


End file.
